I start to think there really is no cure for depression, that happiness is an ongoing battle, and I wonder if it’s worth it. Worth fighting to be happy. Depression can seem worse than terminal cancer, because most cancer patients feel loved and they have hope and self-esteem. Everyday, I lie on my floor crying and shaking. Searching for inner strength and coming up empty. My eyes burn and my mouth becomes dry as I suck in air that seems to keep getting thicker and harder to breathe. I try to leave again, but end up leaning my forehead against the door, feeling stupid for not being brave enough to end everything.